Our family has been adjusting to my husband switching back to night shift, which he switches from day shift to night shift and vice versa every three months. This time, it has taken us about two or three weeks to get back into a routine and we finally feel well-adjusted now. I have been so exhausted this time around and it was hard adjusting since there is a lot of solo parenting on my part when my husband is on night shift. Night shift isn’t that ideal for a family with young kids, but I feel like our routine works and makes sense for our family.
My husband works from 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM, plus a commute, which means he is sleeping at home from about 7:00 AM to 2:00 PM or 3:00 PM. With a two and a half year old and an almost one year old in the home, we have to keep ourselves busy and quiet during that time.
I’m going to take you through a day in our home when he is working to see how we make it work. I’ll even share how his days off look, which are a little backwards as well. If you have a husband working night shift, or just different hours, hopefully you can take something from our routine to help you. Remember every family is different and just because something works for us, doesn’t mean it works for everybody.
- Wake up and get ready for the day
My kids are my alarm clock, so whenever they decide to wake up, we wake up and get ready for the day right away. This is something that we don’t normally do when my husband is on day shift and we usually spend the morning in our pajamas. However, when he is on night shift and he is sleeping in our bedroom, it is best for us to get dressed and ready for the day right when we wake up. We do this because depending on what we have planned for the day, I don’t have to go back into the bedroom and possibly wake him up.
My oldest and I brush our teeth together and then the kids usually play quietly in their bedroom while I get dressed and ready. Then, I get the kids dressed and ready for the day in their room. Once we are all ready and their beds are made, I close the bedroom door and we all go downstairs. We don’t go back to the bedroom or open the door until my husband wakes up.
One thing that drives me nuts about my husband on night shift is not being able to make my bed when I wake up. That has been something I have done every morning since I was a child, but I usually end up making it when my husband wakes up or later in the day depending on what we have going on.
- Breakfast and quiet play/TV time
We come downstairs and decide what we are having for breakfast. On Mondays we make muffins for Muffin Monday. On Wednesdays we make waffles for Waffle Wednesdays. On all the other days of the week we either have oatmeal, eggs, or Eggo French Toast Sticks (which are for the mornings I’m feeling extra tired).
If you know me at all, I am not a morning person and we tend to have pretty chill quiet mornings in our house even when my husband is on day shift to help me slowly wake up. So after we eat breakfast, my kids either start independent play or ask to watch something on TV. This is the time of day we have the majority of their screen time. We only have one TV in our home and we don’t allow independent screens for our children, which I will explain why in a future post.
As of right now, my almost one year old doesn’t care about the TV at all. He never watches it and would much rather be playing with toys or moving around and getting into everything. My two and a half year old has his favorite shows he always asks to watch, but he is never a zombie and usually is moving around, playing with toys while watching. I notice there are shows he likes that turn him into a zombie that I no longer let him watch. Like I said, we have one TV in our house and we all have to agree with what is on the TV, and I get to veto the suggestions if they are shows I don’t like him watching.
Some days, this time doesn’t last long because we have mid-morning activities that we go to. However, there are days this time lasts until my youngest’s first nap. Either way, as a night owl who does not like mornings, it is nice to wake up slow and drink my coffee with the kids occupied with independent play or TV time.
- Mid-morning activity out of the house
Some days during the week, we have activities that we go to weekly that are mid-morning. Tuesdays we meet with a moms group at a park. Also on Tuesdays is when I schedule my weekly grocery pick up from Walmart on the way home from the park with our friends. Wednesdays we go to the library for Storytime. This is also the time of day I schedule any appointments for myself or the children. It is late enough in the morning for me to feel like I have woken up and feel ready to leave the house.
Like I said in the last point, the days we don’t have anything planned in the morning, we sometimes stay home and enjoy being home until my youngest goes down for a nap. However, if we are feeling like getting out before his nap, we may walk to one of the parks in our neighborhood at this time. We have a lot of great parks within walking distance from our house that we go to at least once a day. We switch up the parks from time-to-time to keep it interesting.
On Saturdays, if we have nothing going on in the morning, we walk to a certain park in our neighborhood that does not have birthday parties, because all of the other parks in our neighborhood always have birthday parties on the weekends.
I’d like to note that if I am planning on cooking something in the Crockpot for dinner when my husband is on night shift, I put it in the Crockpot before we go out of the house in the morning. I will get to the reason in a later point.
- Lunch time and then quiet play time
After we get back from our mid-morning activity, it is time for lunch. In our home for lunch we either have leftovers from dinner or some simple staples that we always have available in our kitchen. Lunch could be quesadillas, grilled cheese, peanut butter & jelly sandwich, turkey & cheese sandwich, smoothie/protein shake, or frozen taquitos.
My youngest usually naps right before or during lunch depending on the day and what we have going on. If we have stayed at home, he usually naps earlier. However, if we are out and about, he usually falls asleep on the drive or walk home. If he is asleep while my oldest and I are eating lunch, then he just eats when he wakes up.
After we are done eating lunch, we usually play with toys, read books, and other activities that are still quiet until my husband wakes up.
- Husband wakes up and I make dinner
My husband usually wakes up between 2:00 PM and 3:00 PM. If he isn’t awake by 3:30 PM, I go check on him and make sure he’s starting to wake up. Once he is settled and drinking his cup of coffee, this is usually when I cook dinner for the night. He keeps an eye on the kids, who are usually engaging in independent play, while he drinks his coffee and watches whatever he wants on TV or plays with the kids.
Yes, I cook dinner at 3:00 PM because I want my husband to be able to take it with him to work. This is actually one of the perks of night shift because when he is on day shift, I am cooking dinner while still home alone with the kids so it will be ready when he comes home from work. Having him watch the kids while I cook is so amazing, however my oldest has grown so accustomed to “helping” me cook dinner that he usually runs in the kitchen to “help” when he hears me starting to work. He likes to stand on his stool that we have to help him reach the counter and he watches every move I make and I give him simple tasks he can do like pouring things and stirring.
The easiest days of course are the days I decide to do a Crockpot meal, which I mentioned in an earlier point I get started before our mid-morning activity. I do it so early in order for it to be done in time for my husband to take some to work with him. Crockpot days are nice too because I get even more time to hang out with my husband before he leaves for work at 5:00 PM.
- Park time or playtime/crafts
On the days we haven’t gotten out of the house by the time my husband leaves for work, this is another time of day we may walk to the park. Like I said, we try to go to the parks in our neighborhood at least once a day. We head out of the door at the same time as my husband does and have some fun at the park and outside.
However, if we were out and about earlier in the day, we may decide that we would rather stay home and play in the house. They may play with toys, read books, do some art, or I find a craft off of Pinterest to try. We have a lot of fun and try not to turn the TV on for the rest of the night. I have noticed that the hours between when my husband leaves for work and bedtime go by the slowest and watching TV makes the time go by slower. So, I try to keep us busy to help the time go faster. We have tried a lot of fun crafts with just basic items that we already had laying around the house that I will be sharing in a future post.
- Dinner time and a little more playtime
With dinner already done, it makes dinner time really simple. I may need to heat it up a little before we eat it, but the fact that it is already done is a game changer. If you are interested in what meals we make in our home, which our kids love too, you can check out my full meal planning system here.
Both of our kids, ages two and a half and then almost one year, eat whatever we eat and we never make them a separate meal or something different from us. I feel like not ever giving that option has made picky eating not a big issue in our house. Our two and a half year old from time to time needs some encouragement to eat more, but he is still eating what we eat and not afraid to try something new, even if he ends up spitting it out because he doesn’t like it. Our almost one year old will eat anything and everything and I’m pretty sure does not have a sense of feeling full and we often have to cut him off. He is our foodie for sure and loves to eat!
After dinner, the kids usually have a little more time to play before we head upstairs for bath time and bedtime. They usually continue whatever they were doing before we sat down for dinner or find something else to do for the short playtime they get after dinner.
- Bath time and bedtime
I have discussed in great detail our bath time and bedtime routine in a separate post that you can find here. I even discuss in that post how I accomplish this alone while my husband is off at work. It does take a little longer to do it alone, so we start a little earlier when I am home alone with the kids at bedtime. But to be brief, I give the kids a bath, brush teeth, read books, pray, nurse the baby, and then they go to sleep.
- Nightly Cleaning Routine
This is another part of my day that I have discussed in a previous post that you can find here. I basically reset my house, putting everything back where it belongs, complete a few daily/weekly cleaning tasks, do the dishes, and take a shower. This is one of my favorite parts of my day. It has become so therapeutic for me to get my house back in order and have time by myself with no one interrupting me or needing anything from me.
- Journal and go to sleep
Finally, right before bed I do a short journal entry just writing down some significant things that happened during the day. I have a 5-Year Journal that I absolutely love because each page has the date at the top and then five sections underneath where you write the year and have space for just a short journal entry. It is very easy to keep up because it only has space for a few sentences.
It is really fun everytime a new year comes around and I can read what happened on this day last year or even the year before that. I usually write about milestones my kids have hit or something funny they said. I really love it and it brings me so much joy right before I go to bed.
If you are interested, you can find it here on Amazon. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases, but I wouldn’t recommend anything to you that I don’t use and enjoy myself. It is great for yourself, but can also be a great gift for someone you know entering a new stage in their life, whether it is marriage, motherhood, or grandmotherhood.
- “Nights” off
When my husband is on night shift, he tries his best to keep his sleeping schedule consistent even on his nights off. So, even if it is night off, he stays up as late as he can and then goes to bed a few hours before my kids wake up. So our mornings actually look pretty much the same on his nights off and he still wakes up between 2:00 PM and 3:00 PM. I let him sleep in even later if he doesn’t wake up on his own, however he is usually waking up at his normal time if not earlier on his nights off because he is excited to spend time with us.
Once he wakes up and has his coffee, we usually head to the park or do some fun playtime at home together as a family unless we have some other plans for the day. I make dinner around the time the kids and I usually eat dinner, which is around 7:00 PM. He also helps with bath time and bedtime, which is very helpful! Once the kids go to bed and I’m done with all of my cleaning, we spend some time together.
That about does it for a day in my life as a stay at home mom with two young kids and a husband on night shift. I hope you found something in here that you can implement into your own routine. This is a routine that I have been tweaking overtime and I feel like I have recently perfected what works in our house and for our family. Don’t be afraid to try something just to see if it works and if not, you can always tweak it to make it work for you.
WIth love,
Victoria O’Brien